This Is Today

I’m not even sure I want to forget.

I’m not sure if he’s now just a man I’ve made better by the fantasies in my mind. Maybe I have blocked away everything that was wrong with him. They do say that everything looks better in hindsight.

But I remember loving him all the while I was there. I remember wanting to let go but never being able to. Something about him kept me there. Keeps me here now. Still loving him.

I’m so tired. Of all this. Of him.

If I never met him, maybe it all would have been better. But my life would have been so, so different.

And I can’t ever regret anything, because only when I met him did I learn what it meant to live.